Myka's Eutopia

when will it be okay? I think I’ve waited long enough, don’t you?

Whatever happened to “I’ll be home soon?”

Father, can You hear Me?

For the past two weeks, I’ve been back and forth to court in support of my father. What the accusation is that’s been brought against him, I refuse to make public but right now I’ve got some things to get off my chest. So many teens actually have both parents, yet they choose to express utter hatred towards either both parents or towards one parent more than the other. My question to that thought is “How ungrateful can you be?” There are people with parents dead, never even met their parents, and people that have simply been taken away from their parents in one form or another. I suppose I fall into that last category, seeing how my father has been in federal custody since January 26, 2011; 4 days after my 17th birthday. And you know what happened today? Today, April 24, 2012, my father has been sentenced to face 20 years in jail after a long, painful trial. Do you know how lucky you are to be able to hug your parent each day? To hear their voice, yelling at you to do better in school? I do, but I can’t know what that feels like anymore. Imagine sitting in a courtroom, 10 feet away from your father, not being able to hug him because it’s against the rules. Or better yet, imagine not even being able to say in a clear voice “I love you” because it would be disrespectful to everyone else in the courtroom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no holier than thou, but I just couldn’t be that arrogant. This shit is hard man. And it’s not just hard because I don’t have both parents in my life anymore. The fact that I know good and well is that if he had the option to turn away from his prior decisions that landed him in the place he is now, he’d never take that option for a second because it would take away from his self respect as a man. Being able to provide for and feel like he had a place in my sister and my life were all that mattered to him, so I can’t say he was a dead beat. I don’t love him any less, I just wish he saw how much his pride has hurt me so. How can you say you love me daily, yet you continue to hurt me? How can you feel like a man, knowing so many hearts are breaking at your cause? I’ll never get it. I just pray I can get tougher skin from this experience and be so successful that I’ll never have to step foot in another courthouse for personal reasons. Daddy, I love you so much, God knows I do… but you hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt before

1 month ago

My nephew Quorey (Corey). I love this little boy with all my heart. He had to be in the hospital for breathing issues the day before and about 2 hours before this picture was taken, he had an asthma attack. My baby was smiling from ear to ear when I came in his room to visit him, screaming my name. To him, I’m “Dy-Ta”. Mind you, my name is Myka lol

5 months ago -

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